


Ghosts from the Past

by Yasunori



Series: In the Ruins Universe [8]
Category: Dir en grey, Jrock, MUCC
Genre: Alpha/Omega, Alpha/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barebacking, Consensual Sex, Fluff and Angst, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg, Past Rape/Non-con, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Apocalypse, Scenting, Self-Lubrication, Sexual Content, Smut, Wasteland, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 05:34:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6841081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yasunori/pseuds/Yasunori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shinya was happy. He was finally feeling safe enough to give himself completely to Toshiya. That is, until a ghost from the past appears, someone who could rip him and Toshiya apart.</p><p>Post-apocalyptic alpha/omega fic following the In the Ruins story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“I can feel it moving!” Koichi yelled, exited, with his hand on Tsuzuku’s belly. His friend laughed, and then groaned a little as the baby turned.

“I know, he’s a feisty little devil,” he said. “I bet he’s gonna turn out like Ruki.”

“Hey!” the omega pouted, glaring at Tsuzuku. “He should be so lucky!” Tsuzuku snickered, and Ruki stuck his tongue out, but couldn’t help grinning. He and Tsuzuku had found each other quickly. They both had a bossy streak, and even though the pregnant omega had calmed down a lot since he bonded with Reo, Ruki brought out some of the old traits in him.

“What do you think he is, alpha or omega?” Cazqui asked, carefully reaching out to feel the belly and jumping a little when the baby kicked.

“I hope he’s an omega, they’re much cuter!” Koichi offered, the others laughing.

“Don’t let Hazuki hear you say that,” Tsuzuku said, tickling his friend in the side. Koichi yelped and moved out of his friend’s reach, hiding behind Shinya before he answered.

“Hazuki’s hot and sexy, not cute! Babies are supposed to be cute. Get your priorities straight, Tsu! Don’t you want a pretty baby?”

Tsuzuku laughed at that. “I don’t care if it’s an alpha or omega, as long as he looks like Reo I’ll be happy.”

“Naaww, that’s cute,” Cazqui said and grinned. “I wish I had a boyfriend I was all crazy about, like you four are about your lovers.”

Koichi came out from behind Shinya and threw his arms around his friend, giving him a big kiss on the cheek. “Well, you’ve got us, and we love you lots and lots!”

Cazqui laughed and hugged him back. “Thanks, I appreciate it, but I kind of don’t want to fuck either of you…”

Koichi made an un-interpretable noise at that and scrunched up his nose a little.

“True, alphas are good for certain things. But isn’t there someone here you like? There are some single alphas around. That new guy Tetsuya is hot, and Yukihiro is all stoic and trustworthy.”

Cazqui smiled a little sadly and shook his head. “Nah, Tetsuya’s not really my type, even though he is kinda hot. And Yukihiro is a bit too quiet for me, I think. And none of the others have caught my eye either. I hope someone new shows up soon, I wouldn’t mind having someone to share my heats with…”

Koichi and Ruki both made dreamy noises at that, Tsuzuku laughing at them.

“You sound like two kids dreaming of candy,” he said.

Ruki huffed and poked his friend. “Oh yeah, as if you’re not missing it now!”

Tsuzuku grinned. “Ok, ok, maybe a little. Well, once the baby’s out I might get to have some fun again as well. What about you Shinya, have you let Toshiya take you for a spin yet?”

Shinya blushed deep red and shook his head a little. He had thought about it, now that he and Toshiya had gotten really serious. He had more or less moved into his boyfriend’s cottage by now, spending most nights there, but he still had his room, just in case. And well, the heats… It was a sensitive question for him, but he was seriously starting to consider it.

“I just love having my heat with Hazuki,” Koichi said. “We get almost a whole week together in a cottage, just fucking our brains out. It’s amazing, even though I’m in a daze most of the time I can still remember how good it feels afterwards…” He licked his lips a little at the memory, and Ruki made a humming noise of agreement.

Cazqui sighed, but smiled at his friends all the same. He was just about to say something when Reo came back to the cottage, and all talk of heats seized instantly. Reo eyed them suspiciously before he leaned down to kiss his mate.

“Don’t tell me you’re up to something naughty with Ruki again?” he smirked, and Tsuzuku punched him lightly on the arm before he grinned.

. . . . .

Shinya was thinking. All the other omegas were talking about their heats as the best thing ever, and he had really enjoyed the only one he had had. But still, for the longest time it had almost felt like a betrayal to Satochi to have his heat with another alpha. Even though he had moved on and processed his loss, the alpha had meant a lot to him. But so did Toshiya, and he was here and now, not a ghost in a memory.

He also knew Toshiya would be ecstatic if Shinya chose to have his heat with him. The alpha never pushed, never asked for more than Shinya was prepared to give. He was too sweet and caring for that, always wanting the best for everyone. But he couldn’t hide the happiness when Shinya did something that took them one step closer to each other, and the omega had come to love those moments when he felt safe enough to give a little more, and was met with so much love. Shinya felt his heart beat a little faster at the thought of the alpha. He was falling harder for him every day, and he wanted to make him happy.

And so he decided that it was time.

. . . . .

They were lying together in Toshiya’s bed, panting and sweating. It had been even better than usual, Shinya still tingling with the aftermath of his orgasm. His body was extra sensitive when his heat was coming on, and every touch to his sensitized skin made him moan. Toshiya held him down with his weight until he could pull out, and then he turned on his side and curled up around the omega, kissing his cheek and nuzzling his neck, drawing in his scent.

“You smell so, so good,” he whispered, a shiver going through him, before he reluctantly added, “I think you’d better go talk to Tatsurou before it’s too late.”

Shinya turned in his lover’s arms so that he snuggled up to his chest, playing a little with a nipple. He didn’t dare look at Toshiya as he hesitantly started to speak.

“About that… I thought that maybe I wouldn’t. This time. If it’s ok with you.”

He felt Toshiya stiffen and held his breath, waiting for his reaction. “You mean,” Toshiya said carefully, “that you’re thinking of having your heat? With me?”

Shinya swallowed and nodded a little, still playing with the alpha’s nipple and not daring to look up.

“If you want,” he whispered.

Toshiya’s hand closed over his, stopping his caresses. He cupped Shinya’s face and lifted his chin, looking him deeply in the eyes, searchingly, to see if Shinya really meant what he said. Then he smiled, softly but with so much love and emotion that Shinya felt like his whole body melted from its warmth.

“Of course I want to, sweetheart,” the alpha whispered, a tear falling on his cheek. “I’m so happy you won’t believe it.” He kissed Shinya deeply, his soft lips conveying all his love and happiness better than any words could.

. . . . .

Shinya was a little nervous and fidgety as he got ready for the week in the heat cabin. He fussed around, making sure Ruki wouldn’t forget that he was tasked with bringing them more food later. Eventually the omega kicked him out of the kitchen with the words “You’re annoying, go fuck your alpha instead”.

So here Shinya was, waiting for Toshiya to come and bring him to the second heat of his life. He was breathing hard and fidgeting, but it felt a little better when Koichi stopped by to give him a big hug, telling him things would be fine. If anyone would understand his nerves, it would be Koichi, and the omega smiled gratefully at his friend.

Then Toshiya showed up, a bag of towels and other necessities in his hand. He leaned down to kiss his shivering lover.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked, caressing Shinya’s cheek softly. The omega nodded, not trusting his voice, and took Toshiya’s hand as they started the walk to the heat cabin.

. . . . .

Koichi had been right. This was amazing. He remembered need followed by immense pleasure and a release that took his breath away, repeated over and over for five days. When he started to come out of his daze, he was incredibly sated and happy. He nibbled Toshiya’s earlobe lightly, curled up to his lover, still unable not to touch his lover in some way. His hand found the alpha’s cock, and Toshiya groaned tiredly but turned his lover over on his back, pushing him down on the bed again and kissing him hard before he spread the omega’s legs and thrust inside once more. Shinya’s legs wrapped around his lover, and he just let himself enjoy the sensations as they swept him away.

Afterwards, they lay connected, Shinya draped over Toshiya, cuddling him comfortably. Shinya smiled and hummed a little before he yawned widely.

“Mmm, you’re so good to me,” he mumbled sleepily.

Toshiya looked at him, his tired face suddenly smiling cheekily. “Hey sweetie. So your heat‘s fading, huh? I look forward to talking to you again, not just fucking you.”

“Tomorrow,” Shinya yawned widely. “Too tired now.”

Toshiya laughed and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “Tomorrow. Sleep, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

. . . . .

“So did it feel good?” Toshiya asked on their way back.

“It was fantastic. Thank you for letting me wait until I was ready,” Shinya said, smiling shyly. Toshiya squeezed his hand.

“Of course, baby, I would never dream of doing anything else.”

Shinya smiled and leaned in on his lover, Toshiya putting his arm around him as they walked. The omega was tired but happy. As they approached the houses, he yawned.

“I think I want to have a nap if that’s ok,” he said. Toshiya smiled down on him and gave him a big kiss.

“Sleep, babe. I’ll go check what’s happened while we were gone before I come join you.” The alpha left him outside their cabin, walking up to the big house, and Shinya smiled after him as he watched his handsome lover’s back. He eventually turned towards their cottage, only to find Koichi leaning against the corner.

“So, how was it? It felt good, right?” he asked, a bright grin on his face.

Shinya laughed and nodded. “It did. I guess I have you to thank.”

“Me?” Koichi was confused.

“Mmm. You got me thinking.”

The omega looked surprised, but then the grin was back. “Good, then I take full credit if it meant making my friend happy.”

He gave Shinya a hug, and then turned to the big house, watching Toshiya disappear inside.

“So, big news,” he said. “While you two were screwing your brains out, we got some new people here. They’re inside, I’m going there as well but I wanted to greet you first. Two couples and a single alpha. Die and Aoi brought them here. Aoi was scared to decide for himself after Reita, so he brought Die with him to check them out first,” he smirked. “Apparently, they’d heard of us down south and gone up to find us. The alphas here weren’t too happy to hear about that, if word gets out we’re here that could mean trouble, they said. But these guys seem nice, anyway. Die and Aoi talked to them for three days before they asked them over. Kai and Kaoru went over as well before they all decided.”

Shinya took in the news, curious. New people were interesting. But if they had heard word of them, so could bad people. They had a safe place here, and he didn’t want anything to ruin it. Koichi saw right through him and gave him a reassuring hug.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,“ he said. “The alphas will protect us.”

Shinya nodded, relieved by the thought. Toshiya would always take care of him. He decided to wait with the nap and go with Koichi instead, checking out the new group.

“Cazqui has already called dibs on the single alpha,” Koichi laughed as they strolled together towards the house. “He’s really good looking. He’s got this big scar on the side of his face, but Cazqui says it just makes him look more manly. I think he fell in love instantly, I haven’t seen him this excited in, like, forever.”

Shinya giggled, imagining Cazqui fawning over the alpha. Maybe the omega would finally get his longed-for boyfriend now? He deserved it, Shinya thought, as he walked through the front door and into the dining room where Toshiya stood talking to the new people.

And then he stopped mid-step. His chest was suddenly constricting and he was starting to hyperventilate, his legs buckling under him. Koichi grabbed his elbow to steady him, but he hardly noticed. He just stared at him.


	2. Chapter 2

Toshiya was talking to the alpha of one of the couples, the one who had introduced himself as Hiro, when the single alpha suddenly stared at a spot behind Toshiya. He got up from his chair so suddenly that several of the island’s alphas reacted instinctively, stepping up to block his way and take him down if he turned violent. But the alpha stopped, still staring, his jaw dropped and his chest heaving with emotion. The rest of the new group looked almost as shocked. Toshiya frowned and looked behind him to see what they were looking at.

It was Shinya. The omega was white as a sheet, barely able to stand, staring at the alpha. Koichi was by his side, supporting him, and Ryoga stepped up on the other side, equally worried. For a second, everything was still while everyone looked from Shinya to the alpha and back. Toshiya was torn between rushing to his lover’s side and stepping in between them to protect him from the alpha. Protect. Did Shinya need protecting? Was this one of the alphas that had hurt and raped him? Toshiya suddenly felt rage coursing through him.

“Who are you? What have you done to him?” he demanded, his face a mask of fury. “If you have hurt him, I swear to god, I’ll kill you.”

The alpha snapped out of it at the sound of Toshiya’s voice, staring at him uncomprehending at first, and then he realized what the other alpha was saying and blinked.

“God, no, I would never!” He looked truly appalled, and turned his head back to the omega, his face turning soft and tears filling his eyes. “Shinya, pretty…” he said softly, taking a small step against the omega. Kai and Asanao stepped in between them, and the alpha hesitated and stopped again.

Toshiya suddenly felt sick. _Pretty._ He glanced back at Shinya, and everything fell into place. The omega couldn’t stop staring at the alpha, tears streaming down his face. He was sitting on the floor now since his legs wouldn’t carry him, leaning on Koichi’s shoulder, shaking.

This was the one who had left and never come back. The one they had all thought was dead. The one Shinya had loved so much he hadn’t let himself fall in love with Toshiya for the longest time.

“You’re Satochi,” he said, feeling like his heart would rip in two.

. . . . .

People were staring between the three of them. Most had never heard the name, they just knew there had been someone, but they all knew the basic layout of Shinya’s story and realized who they were seeing. Aoi was groaning, hiding his face in his hands, and Cazqui had suddenly gone grey. The rest were just stunned.

One of the omegas, Hiro’s mate, tentatively got up and took a step forward, asking permission with his eyes to pass Kai. Kai glanced at Toshiya but took a step back and let him through, and the omega slowly walked up to Shinya, as if scared that someone would stop him if he moved too quickly. He carefully sat down in front of the omega, putting his hand out to gently touch his face.

“Shinya,” he whispered, and the omega lifted his tear-filled eyes and looked at him. Then he leaned forward and fell into the omega’s arms, hugging him as if his life depended on it. The new omega couldn’t stop himself from crying either, clutching his friend.

“I can’t believe it’s really you. Oh god Shinya, we were so scared. When we finally got to the bunker and it was all wrecked and empty, we thought you were dead or taken by some alphas,” he cried. “We looked everywhere for you.”

Shinya just cried, unable to speak. He was shaking badly and looked like he was about to collapse completely, and the omega looked around helplessly at the people standing around them. Toshiya couldn’t stop himself now, he turned his back on the alpha and his friends and were at Shinya’s side in a second. Koichi ran out of the room to go find the nurse, heart in his throat.

“Shinya, baby?” he tried, without getting a response. “Sweetheart, can you hear me?” He reached out to caress his lover’s cheek, but still got no reaction whatsoever. The alpha looked around desperately for the nurse just as Tatsurou came in. He quickly took in the situation and then came up and kneeled next to them, looking Shinya in the eyes. The omega was still hyperventilating, and his eyes were unfocused. The nurse glanced at Toshiya and shook his head slightly, and the alpha took a deep breath and nodded at him.

He lifted Shinya up in his arms and turned to follow Tatsurou out of the room. The omega was light as a feather and felt like a ragdoll in his arms, and Toshiya hadn’t been so scared in a long, long time. They went to the room at the back, where he put the omega down on the bed, Tatsurou examining him quickly and then helping the omega swallow some pills. Toshiya sat next to him, holding his hand and stroking his hair, as the omega’s breathing finally slowed and his eyes closed.

“He’ll be sleeping for a while now,” Tatsurou said, looking at Toshiya with sympathy in his eyes. “I’ll watch over him, I promise. I’ll call for you if anything happens.”

Toshiya swallowed hard and nodded, tears running down his cheeks. He carefully dried them off and stood, leaning down to give Shinya a final lingering kiss before he left the room to go face the mess they were in.

When he got back to the dining room, Yukke and Kai had told most of the others to leave, only leaving a bunch of alphas left to guard the new group. When Toshiya entered the room, all eyes turned on him as he walked up to the group, stone-faced. He grabbed a chair and sat down, eyeing the group before his eyes settled on Satochi.

“Is he gonna be ok?” the alpha asked nervously, and Toshiya felt a stab in his heart. _He still loves him._ He nodded shortly and sighed.

“Our nurse has given him some meds to make him sleep. It was a bad shock. He thought you were dead, since you didn’t come back for him.” He couldn’t keep the tone of accusation out of his voice completely, and the alpha looked as if he had been hit.

“I did come back, but it was too late,” he said quietly, pain in his voice. He looked up to face Toshiya. “So you’re his new boyfriend?” he asked as if he didn’t already know the answer.

The short nod confirmed it, and he closed his eyes for a second before he nodded. Hiro’s mate reached out to squeeze his arm, and Satochi gave him a crooked half smile. He patted the hand and sighed. “Thanks, Yuki,” he mumbled, looking down on the floor to steady himself. Then he lifted his chin and looked Toshiya in the eyes.

“So, how do you want to do this? I start telling you from the beginning, or do you just want me off this island as fast as possible?”

The last option was tempting, but Toshiya couldn’t do such a thing to Shinya. The omega would wake up wanting to talk to Satochi, he knew he would, and he couldn’t take that away from him, even though it scared him like nothing else. _I can’t lose him._ He shook his head shortly.

“You can stay. But I want the story, all of it, in your own words. Don’t worry about what I already know or don’t know. I especially want to hear why you left him to fend for himself,” he added with a slightly menacing look.

Satochi looked like he had been slapped again, but didn’t say anything about it.

“I went to find and bring Hiro and Yuki to us,” he started nodding at the couple next to him. “Ryo and Nao were there as well, and Shinya and I had plenty of food and what I thought was a completely safe place. I’ve never regretted anything in my life more than leaving him there on his own, but he was so scared to go outside, and I thought he would be safer there waiting than he’d be on the road with me. And so I walked away, and thought I’d be back in 19-20 days tops, finding him a little lonely but safe. But then I ran into a bunch of alphas just before I got to the farm, and I was outnumbered. They beat me up and took my stuff, and then they just left me to die.” He paused and gestured to the big scar on his face than ran all the way from his hairline to his jaw.

“I survived, but it was just pure luck,” he continued. “I managed to get to the farm somehow, it was just a few hours away, and the guys took care of me and nursed me until I was able to at least stand again. But by then almost 25 days had gone by, and I realized Shinya would be getting scared by now. So I wanted to get going and walk back, even if I had to do it slowly. When I had finally persuaded the others that I was ok to walk, we packed and were set to move out the next day.”

He paused and took a deep breath, and Hiro put his hand on his shoulder in support.

“That night, a gang of alphas came and burned the farm down. They killed one of us,” he said with tears in his eyes, Nao giving off a quiet sob and Ryo pulling him into his arms. “And the rest of us just barely got away. Hiro burnt his leg in the fire, and Ryo broke his arm fighting off the alphas while we escaped. Yuki was still in shock from everything that had happened when we got to the farm, and this thing pushed him back into despair. But we got away, all in bad shape, and took refuge in a small cottage we found until we had healed enough to move on. It took a while though, Hiro’s burns almost cost him his leg. I kept thinking of Shinya, all day, every day, but you have to understand, I thought he was safe. Scared, but _safe_.”

Satochi looked earnestly at Toshiya before he buried his head in his hands for a moment. Kai handed him a glass of water, which he took gratefully.

“We… God, I knew Shinya would be frantic by now, so we went to the military bunker as soon as we could. But when we got there, the door was broken and the bunker was a complete mess. Everything was turned upside down and spilled on the floor, and all the food was gone. And then I found Shinya’s photo album abandoned on the floor,” he said, suddenly choking on tears, unable to go on.

Toshiya let him take a break, his heart pounding hard in his chest as he imagined what it would be like to come back to find his lover gone. He swallowed hard. Kai looked at him with concerned eyes, but he just shook his head shortly. His feelings weren’t important now.

Satochi took a deep breath before he continued. “We looked everywhere, of course. We searched for a long time, before we finally went back to the farm as well, but there was nothing there. It was all burnt down, and there was no trace of Shinya, or anything else for that matter. After that, we just kept going, just as everyone else, trying to find food and shelter for the night. We still looked for him, of course, but we found nothing to lead us to him. And then one day we heard there was a place up around here that was safe, so we went looking for it and found you guys.”

He was shaking a little, a tear trickling down his cheek. It was very obvious to everyone that telling the story of how he lost Shinya had been hard on him. “I kept looking, but in my heart, I thought I’d never see him again. And then he came in through that door and…” His voice broke and he stopped, burying his face in his hands for a while.

Toshiya leaned back on his chair and looked at them. He was pretty sure they were telling the truth – his gut feeling told him as much. But what to do now? He knew he had to let Shinya and Satochi meet and talk, anything else would be cruel to Shinya, but his whole body hurt at the idea. What if the omega chose to go with him, and leave the island? Fear surged through him, and he had to fight to push it down. He didn’t matter now, only Shinya mattered. Eventually, he sighed deeply before he spoke.

“You’re welcome to dinner here at seven. We only have one cottage available right now, so you will have to squeeze in for now until…” He didn’t say it, but Satochi understood. Until he and Shinya had talked and they knew how the omega felt about all this. He nodded, grateful, and followed Yukke as he showed them to their cottage. Some of the other alphas trailed along, just to be sure, and soon only Toshiya and Kai were left in the room.

Toshiya leaned forward, bracing himself on his knees, as he let his head fall down and finally let the tears come. Kai waited patiently until the worst was over, and then grabbed a chair and sat down next to Toshiya, patting his shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.

Toshiya took a moment to gather his thoughts. He wasn’t sure he trusted his voice right now.

“I can’t lose him, Kai. I can’t. But he loved that guy so, so much, and I’m… How do I compare to him? I know he loves me, but… Now that Satochi is here, will he go back to him? I couldn’t, no, I won’t be able to take it. If he leaves me, I’ll…” His voice broke and he started crying again. Kai put his arm around his friend’s shoulder, trying to calm him down.

“You don’t know what will happen, so just wait and see. Don’t dwell on it too much right now. He loves you, Toshiya. We all know he does, and so should you.”

Toshiya nodded and looked at his friend through a curtain of tears. “I know he does, but that guy was his first real love, for god’s sake. How am I supposed to compete with that?”

“You’re still the guy who saved his life and helped him find happiness again,” Kai said quietly.

Toshiya smiled a crooked half-smile through his tears, and closed his eyes for a second, his thoughts swirling.

. . . . .

When Koichi came by to tell him Shinya was awake, Toshiya dropped everything and went with him. He sat down next to the bed, Shinya lying there, still looking a little sleepy.

“Hey,” he said softly, giving the omega a kiss on the forehead, “how are you feeling?”

Shinya turned on his side clumsily. “Tired,” he mumbled.

“Do you want to sleep some more?” Toshiya asked, trying to sound calm even though he wanted to cry again. Shinya nodded, closing his eyes sleepily.

“Should I carry you to the cottage and put you to bed?” Toshiya was hoping against hope he would say yes, that he would be able to hold his omega, to feel him close. To feel that he still wanted him.

But Shinya shook his head, almost going to sleep again when he suddenly realized who he had seen earlier. Toshiya could see it, the memory hitting Shinya like a hammer to the head, and his throat constricted at the sight.

“Satochi… is here?” Shinya asked, suddenly wide awake, his voice trembling.

Toshiya swallowed hard before he nodded. His lover blinked.

“But… he was dead,” he said, uncertainly. “He didn’t come back to me because he was dead.”

“He got beat up, baby. He had to heal, and when he came to find you, you were gone.” Toshiya wished he could lie, that he could say the alpha had just abandoned him, that he was better off staying with him. But he couldn’t, of course, and so he just caressed his lover’s cheek while he still could.

Shinya looked scared, happy and shocked all wrapped up in one, and he swallowed and pinched his eyes. “I… I think I need to be alone tonight,” he whispered, and Toshiya nodded, giving him a soft and gentle kiss before he got up. He let his fingers run through the omega’s hair, lingering a little. _This might be my last chance to touch him._ And then he forced himself to let go and leave the room. He closed the door behind him, leaning against it and closing his eyes as he felt the tears start to fall again.

. . . . .

He forced himself to sit calmly through dinner, watching Satochi and his friends from across the room. There was a tension in the air, and everyone could feel it. The guests (Toshiya couldn’t make himself think of them as anything else right now) sat at a table of their own, thanking everyone profusely for the food before they ate. It was clear that they hadn’t seen food like this in a long time, but they tried to be polite and show manners. It was a weird dinner, and Toshiya excused himself as soon as he had finished his meal and went to his cottage, closing the door behind him with a mixture of relief and sorrow.

The cottage was empty. His lover wasn’t there with him, didn’t crawl into bed and snuggle down in that cute way he always did. It hurt, god did it hurt, and Toshiya felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. He went over to the bed, just watching the empty space between the sheets for a moment before he collapsed onto the bed and let himself sink into the black hole within.

. . . . .

The next day, he busied himself with different things, trying to give Shinya some space to think, but he kept fumbling and dropping things. His mind was unfocused, and Satochi’s presence didn’t help his concentration much. Shinya was still in the sickroom, Tatsurou informed him, and he wanted time alone to think and process this. Tatsurou gave him a sympathetic look, and Toshiya pretended like he hadn’t seen it.

The only good thing was that Satochi also stayed away and let Shinya be. It helped Toshiya to know that he wasn’t the only one shut out. That changed around three in the afternoon. The nurse came by to ask Satochi if he would come talk to Shinya, and the alpha had the decency to look to Toshiya for his approval before he left. He couldn’t say no, could he? Not when he knew Shinya wanted to talk to this guy. But his stomach churned and his chest was about to burst, as he nodded his ok to the alpha.

Satochi was gone for hours.

. . . . .

Shinya watched his former boyfriend intently, as if he couldn’t believe he was really there. He tentatively reached out to touch the scar on the alpha’s face, before he curled up on the bed, arms around his knees, and took a deep breath.

And then the talking began. Satochi started to tell his story again, filling it in with more details than he had told Toshiya, and when he was done, Shinya was crying quietly.

“I left you my photo,” he said. At the farm. With a message to come find me.”

Satochi shook his head sadly. “There was nothing there, sweetheart. We looked everywhere. If I had found it I would have come in a flash. I would have looked through the entire world until I found you.”

Shinya swallowed and looked down for a moment, collecting his frayed thoughts.

“I’ve missed you so much,” the alpha said, his voice a little coarse. Shinya sobbed a little, and Satochi reached out to grab his hand. The omega stiffened for a second but didn’t pull away.

“Will you tell me what happened to you?” Satochi asked, scared of the answer but wanting to know.

And so Shinya told him. He told him of the loneliness and the waiting for Satochi to come back, and of the alphas breaking in. He told him how he ran away and tried to find Satochi, but found the farm burnt. He told him of the constant searching before he went back to find the bunker in shambles, and how he waited until the food ran out. And then he told the alpha the story of the hazy years, the pain, the rapes, the hunger, the capture and escape, the near death in a freezing bed in a tiny village. He told him the story of Toshiya and the island, about his fears and guilt of falling in love, as well as the story of Reita. And finally, he told the alpha about how he found himself again, about how Toshiya was there to guide him back and make him strong again.

When he was done, it was dusk already. Satochi was crying, his eyes red from all the tears Shinya’s story had brought.

“I’ve never regretted anything more than leaving you, pretty,” he said quietly. “I still love you, and I always will, but Toshiya is a great guy and I’m happy he took care of you when I had failed you. And I know I have no right to ask you to come back to me. I’ll accept whatever you decide. If you want me to go, I’ll go, and if you want me to stay, I’ll stay. It has to be your choice.”

Shinya couldn’t help the tears that fell. How was he supposed to choose between his first love and his savior? He felt ripped in two. This was just too much for him, and he was about to break. The alpha looked at him, understanding in his eyes, and he moved over to the bed, putting his arms around the trembling omega, pulling him close and holding him as he collapsed in tears.

They sat like that for a long while, Shinya’s sobs finally subsiding and he sat leaned against his former lover, feeling those familiar strong arms around him calming him down.

Outside, Toshiya stood stunned, watching the embrace through a crack in the door. He turned around and walked out the front door, disappearing into the evening.


	3. Chapter 3

Shinya went to his room to wash the tears off his face and change into clean clothes, before he went to find Toshiya. Now that the decision was made, he felt lighter, as if he could start to breathe again. All he had to do to feel completely free again was talk to Toshiya. But the alpha wasn’t in the dining room. People were eyeing him when he asked for the alpha, but shook their heads. He couldn’t see him anywhere around the village, and when the omega went to the cabin, he found it empty. He was starting to feel a little nervous, his stomach churning. Where could the alpha be? He walked out of the cabin, looking around, but only saw Aoi by his cottage.

“Aoi,” Shinya called, running up to him. “Have you seen Toshiya?”

Aoi eyed him, his jaw a little clenched. “Why?” he said. “You’ve already made him cry.”

The omega looked like Aoi had slapped him and closed his eyes before he answered. Toshiya had cried because of him. The guilt stabbed at him like a knife.

“Aoi, please, I really need to talk to him. Please,” the omega pleaded.

Aoi sighed and then nodded his head towards the beach. “He’s down there. Please try not to wreck him any more than you already have.”

Shinya didn’t wait long enough to answer. He just ran.

. . . . .

The alpha sat on the grass, looking out over the lake. It was a clear night and the stars had all come out, but Toshiya didn’t see them. He was trying desperately not to give in to the pain, trying to push his love for Shinya into a little corner of his soul so it wouldn’t hurt so much when the omega left with Satochi. He heard someone come down the path behind him, soft steps that he would recognize anywhere. He closed his eyes and felt a tear run down his cheek.

“Go away, Shinya,” he said, his voice coarse. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Toshiya, please,” Shinya begged. “I need to talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t want to talk,” Toshiya snapped. “Go back to your alpha and talk to him.” He regretted it instantly when he heard the omega’s gasp, but he was too hurt right now. His worst nightmare had come true, and he felt like he was dying inside. Why didn’t Shinya just get it over with so he could cry in peace? He heard the omega sniffling behind him, taking a deep breath.

“But _you’re_ my alpha,” Shinya whispered, his voice trembling as he started crying quietly.

It took a second for the words to register, before Toshiya’s head snapped around and stared at Shinya. “What… What did you say?” he stammered, not daring to believe his ears.

“I want you to be my alpha,” Shinya sobbed, “please don’t make me go away. Please, I need you, don’t make me leave.” The omega’s shoulders were shaking now, sobs wracking his body. He tried to speak, but he just couldn’t anymore.

And then Toshiya’s arms were around him. The omega melted into his warm chest, clutching him desperately. Toshiya held him close, kissing his head, before he whispered in his ear.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry. I saw you in his arms, and I thought… And I just wanted to die, it hurt so bad. I shouldn’t have snapped at you, please baby, forgive me. I love you so, so much.”

Shinya couldn’t speak for a long while, he just stood there, letting the alpha hold him, pressing his small frame close. After a while, Toshiya guided him to sit down on the grass, and they leaned into each other, feeling the love heal their aching hearts. 

They didn’t say anything for at least half an hour, just held each other and let their breathing calm down. Finally, Shinya shifted a little in the alpha’s arms, turning his head towards him and looking into his eyes. Toshiya smiled softly and let his fingers caress the soft cheek.

“You’re so precious,” he whispered, before he leaned down to let his lips press gently against the omega’s. Shinya made a soft noise and parted his lips, the kiss slow and loving. They poured all of their emotions into the kiss, hands caressing each other as if they couldn’t stand not to be close, to touch. Toshiya slowly guided the omega down on the grass, their kisses soft and sweet as he let his hands slip under the omega’s shirt to touch the silky skin underneath. Slowly and gently they caressed each other, letting their clothing come off a little at a time.

It was all about love and nothing about lust. Their bodies were in constant contact with each other, skin caressing skin, content being as close as they possibly could. As Toshiya finally let his cock push into the omega, they both closed their eyes and gasped. They never stopped kissing as the alpha rolled his hips, letting his cock slowly caress Shinya’s insides. They looked deep into each other’s eyes while they moved, the love they could see there making them both breathless. When they finally came and Toshiya was fully knotted in the omega, they lay close and just held each other, kissing occasionally. Shinya had never felt so loved in his life, and he never wanted this to end.

For his part, Toshiya felt the black hole inside heal up and his fears dissipate, feeling the omega’s heartbeat against his chest. Ever since he had realized who Satochi was, he had been afraid, that black hole growing inside and convincing him that he would lose the one he loved. And now, lying here with his lover in his arms, he felt his world turn right again.

Toshiya stroked the omega’s hair softly, letting his fingers thread through the silky strands and pull them behind his ear.

“Will you tell me about it?” he finally asked, still caressing his lover gently. He waited silently for Shinya to gather his thoughts.

“I will always love him a little, I think,” the omega whispered eventually. “He was… _is_ important to me. But you… You are my everything. I wouldn’t exist without you.”

Toshiya closed his eyes and drew a deep breath, feeling his chest almost burst with emotion.

“You have absolutely no idea how much I love you,” he said. “When I thought I had lost you, I broke into a million pieces. I want to stay with you forever, I want to take care of you and hold you until we grow old together. You are the love of my life. Just know that.”

Shinya shifted a little, cuddling impossibly closer, and they held each other tight for a long time. The stars were shining over them as they finally got up and walked back to their cottage.

. . . . .

The next day, Satochi came by the cottage around midday, and Toshiya let him in and offered him to sit down. The alpha took the offered chair and sat down, eyeing the pair a little sadly. Shinya sat on the bed, a little way off, and Toshiya took his seat across from the alpha. Satochi smiled a little uncertainly, as he looked around the cottage.

“You have a nice place here,” he said. “I’m glad you can give Shinya what I couldn’t.” He looked earnestly at Toshiya, who gave a small nod of acknowledgement before he waited for the alpha to continue. Satochi reached into his pocket and pulled out something that he handed to Shinya, who curiously took it. He gasped when he realized what it was.

“My photo album!” he breathed, opening it carefully as if afraid it would break. It was filled with photos of his friends, and he felt a lump forming in his throat as he looked up at Satochi.

“I found it on the floor in the bunker, and I kept it with me,” the alpha said. “It was the only thing I had that was yours, but now it’s time for you to get it back.”

“Thank you,” the omega whispered, grasping it in his hands. The alpha smiled, before he turned back to Toshiya.

“So,” Satochi said. “Do you want me to leave immediately, or can I wait until tomorrow? And how about the others, can they stay even if I go? I hate to think I’m the reason for them going back to that life after getting a taste of this. They are good people, and they’ll work hard to earn their keep.”

Shinya bit his lip nervously, his eyes flicking between the alphas. He knew this wasn’t his decision to make, he had to leave it up to Toshiya, so he kept his mouth shut and held his breath as he waited for Toshiya’s answer.

“I might be stupid,” Toshiya said slowly, “I guess I should want to throw you off this island right now. But I don’t. You mean a lot to Shinya, even though he’s not your lover anymore, and I don’t want to be the one to make him lose you a second time.”

Satochi looked at the alpha, surprised, and Shinya let a little gasp slip, making both alphas glance at him. He turned bright red and looked down on his hands, Toshiya smiling a little at him.

“Just like that, that’s exactly what I mean. He wants you here, and I want what’s best for him. So you can stay if you want. If you’d rather leave, it’s your choice, but your friends can stay no matter what you choose to do.”

There was a silence as the alpha’s words sank in, and then Satochi smiled, relieved. He glanced at Shinya and then back to Toshiya.

“Then I graciously accept your kind offer,” he said. Shinya couldn’t help it, he lunged off the bed and hugged first Toshiya, then Satochi, and then Toshiya again. His lover laughed and pulled him into a tight hug, sitting him down on his lap. Shinya leaned his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, smiling happily. And then he realized how Satochi would probably feel about the display, and looked over at the alpha with an apologetic look on his face.

Satochi smiled at them, that sad hint back on his features. “Take good care of him for me, Toshiya. And don’t worry, I know my place and I won’t do anything to try to win him back. I don’t think I could even if I tried,” he added, eyeing Shinya. “Just like you, I just want him to be happy.”

Toshiya smiled, his grip on Shinya tightening a little possessively at the words, but he nodded and said. “I will hold you to that. And I promise I will do everything in my power to make him happy for the rest of his life.”

The alpha nodded, getting up from the chair. “Is it ok if I go tell the gang the news?”

“Of course. See you at dinner?”

Satochi nodded, smiling at them and then walking out to go talk to his friends and make arrangements for staying.

Shinya watched him go and then leaned his head back down on his lover’s shoulder, nuzzling his neck and breathing in his scent.

“ _My_ alpha,” he whispered softly.

A big smile spread on Toshiya’s face, as he pulled his lover into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt incredibly guilty writing this. What am I putting my poor boys through? But it had to happen. At least my muse says so, so I'd better listen or it gets stuck in my head forever.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.


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